Dating is hard enough as it is today. As practically everyone meets on an app these days, it is incredibly likely that you will be aware of your partner or potential partner‘s cannabis use straight off. The phrase “420 friendly” means either they partake, or they have no issues with people who use cannabis. However, for those who met more organically or who didn’t disclose their cannabis usage to their partner from the get-go, you’ve come to the right place for advice on how to do just that: having the cannabis conversation with your partner. Here, I have come up with some tools, tips, and things to remember as you try to make your position on the subject as clear as possible. There is a caveat to this though: as with anything, take all the following experiences and options with a grain of salt; all relationships are different, and there is no “one size fits all” advice. Instead, use this article as a guide to approaching the cannabis conversation with your significant other and figure out the best way to discuss this based on your unique relationship.
The Issue of Legality and Cannabis
The legality issue should be the most obvious – especially for those living in the United States. While in places like Colorado, Amsterdam, and Canada can smoke weed, not everyone who smokes or uses cannabis lives in those places. For those who live in most of the rest of the world, cannabis is illegal and almost viewed as shameful by the older generations still currently holding power. Having that honest cannabis conversation with your partner is the most common piece of advice given, consider that merely because your partner is okay with cannabis does not mean they are okay with you breaking the law. Be sure to consider whether disclosing this information is a smart move; not just for your relationship but for yourself as well as you are also putting yourself at risk. Is your cannabis use worth the possible legal consequences? As for many who use cannabis for health-related issues, there are still ways to get around the legality, but the stigma society associates with the term “cannabis” can make it difficult to convince someone of the importance of your cannabis use.
Know Your Stuff
For those using cannabis as to elevate a health issue, this may seem to be a no-brainer, but it feels necessary to point it out anyways. Be sure – as with anything – to do your research on the effects of the usage of cannabis for what your desired outcome is. You shouldn’t just worry about your knowledge of marijuana, but you should also be sure that you have an understanding of how to relay information to those who are not as familiar with terms and other things that cannabis users know. During the cannabis conversation with your partner, if you are met with the phrase “marijuana is dangerous,” you can say, “well yes, but anything, when taken to excess or abused, can be dangerous.”
Hearing this comment often makes me think about a funny thing a friend of mine once said on this very subject was that even carrots could be dangerous as if you eat too many of them it can cause your skin to turn orange. Also, honesty is the best policy, as lame as that sounds. Stay in your lane: if you are using marijuana recreationally, own up to it; if you are using it medically, own up to that too. Don’t try to cover up your marijuana usage with lots of jargon that in the end means nothing.
Who is Affected by Your Use?
While most people would think in relationships you need to consider the opinions and thoughts of your partner, there is another aspect you need to take into account: the others involved in your relationship (i.e., children). If you and your partner have children, a common consider your partner may voice that is the fear of secondhand smoke or accidental ingestion of other cannabis products. As with any dangerous substance, such as Tide Pods, keeping these substances out of their reach should be your top priority. Also, remember that those children involved look up to you as a role model, so use discretion when you are choosing to partake in your cannabis product of choice.
Don’t Immediately Play Defense
If you run in guns blazing trying to defend your usage of cannabis before you are even asked a question, there is a good chance your partner will not be receptive to your message. Having the cannabis conversation with your partner means preparing for an open dialogue and clear lines of communication as well as being okay with the fact that it may not have a definite end is the best way to approach any conversation, especially the one about a particular issue or concern or practice such as this.
Who Knows, Maybe They’re Not Into It
When I first met my girlfriend, I was not a smoker, but I had wanted to try it as I heard that it could help alleviate my anxiety issues. I knew she used, but wasn’t ever sure how to approach the subject with her to potentially use with her. When we had “the talk,” she explained everything so well, and now we smoke together rather than her feeling the need to have to leave everytime she uses. This, in the end, has brought us closer together than we were in the past.
Final Pep Talk
As with any milestone, having the cannabis conversation with your partner can be a big step for you all. Opening up and talking about something like this with them is an intimate process that can strengthen your relationship as you are showing your partner that you trust them and you believe in their love for you.